


Affected

by TooManyFanficsYouAss



Series: Under Your Spell [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, Boys Kissing, Castiel is a Little Shit, Cute, Cute Ending, Dean is Not Amused, Dean is So Done, Dean is a Good Friend, Dean is a Sweetheart, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Ending, Happy Ending, Hate to Love, High School, High School Student Castiel, High School Student Charlie, High School Student Dean, High School Student Sam, Human Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Castiel, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Love, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Magic, Mary Winchester Lives, No but really John is a good parent in this one, Spells & Enchantments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-06-05 17:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6714109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooManyFanficsYouAss/pseuds/TooManyFanficsYouAss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel used to be really close as kids. But after they shared their first kiss together Cas denies any feelings for Dean and breaks off their friendship. </p><p>Years later Cas is a popular guy who ignores Dean and is supposedly dating Meg. One night one of Dean’s friends convinces the group to try a magic spell to draw in their hearts’ desire. Dean doesn’t buy into the whole magic thing until the next day when Cas comes up to him and makes a move. Dean is terrified and determined to reverse the effects of the spell. </p><p>Will he succeed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CoralQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoralQueen/gifts).



> This lovely prompt was given to me by Evangeline74. Thank you so much! I had loads of fun writing this and I hope this turned out how you wanted it to be. 
> 
> Also, I wanted this fic to be the first of my "Under Your Spell" series where the stories are stand-alone's but they have one thing in common: Magic Spells. If you want to request anything or you have a good idea, don't be shy to leave a comment! If not, then I'll think of a plot on my own :)
> 
> This fic is not beta'ed, but I am looking for one, so if you beta read fics and you want to help me out, please leave a comment.

Their friendship collapsed on a regular Friday.

Friday was their day. They would go to one of their houses after school for their weekly sleepover, which included; staying up late and eat as much food as they could while watching some movies. This tradition started back when they were six years old –four years ago- and became best friends in their first few weeks together. They never missed a Friday ever since.

This Friday was not different. They walked back to school, making a detour through the park, had a quick lunch with Mary -who promised them pie after dinner-, dropped off Cas’s stuff in Dean’s room and went downstairs again to watch some TV before dinner.

“Boys, dinner’s ready!” Mary called, taking the chicken out of the oven. “Help me set the table?”

Dean immediately sprung up out of his sitting position on the floor and held a hand out to Cas with a toothy grin. Cas took the hand and let himself being pulled up. They helped Mary by placing the plates and cutlery neatly on the table.

“Thank you both,” Mary smiled, ruffling both their hair at the same time. “Now, Dean, go and get Sam from his room, okay?”

Dean nodded and practically ran upstairs, his stomach rumbling a little. “Come on, Sammy.”

Sam glanced up at him with big brown eyes and Dean already knew what was coming. “Dean, carry me,” Sam begged, hugging Dean’s waist.

Sam could walk just fine, but he was being lazy and when he discovered Dean could carry him, that has been Dean’s job ever since. Dean didn’t really mind, he loves his brother and would do anything for him. Things, like giving Sam the last piece of candy or letting him play with Dean's toys even when they were kids, came naturally to him. Mary and John often told Dean how proud they were of him because of that.

John and Mary had been worried Dean and Sam wouldn’t get along when Mary found out that she was pregnant. Luckily it all worked out just fine. From the moment Sam was born; Dean had been the overprotective brother. Dean was where Sam was, not leaving him alone for just a second. And when it was time for Sam to go to school, Dean had been there to fight off mean kids and bullies.

“Fine, come here,” Dean sighed, squatting down and opening his arms for Sam to climb into. Sam curled up in a ball, his feet nestled against Dean’s chest, with the thrust that his big brother wouldn’t let him fall.

They made it downstairs safely, the smell of the food really hitting them. “I’m hungry,” Sam whined, poking Dean’s cheek to get his attention.

“I know, I’m too,” Dean responded, lifting Sam again to put him on the floor. Dean took his hand and walked with him to the kitchen, taking place next to Cas as Sam ran to his mother.

When Mary finally announced that they could start dinner, Dean immediately dug in, ignoring a laughing Mary and Cas.

“Why is Dean doing that?” Sam asked, which made Mary and Cas laugh even harder.

“Because he’s weird,” Cas answered, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes. Dean scowled, but couldn’t stop the small smile from tugging at his lips.

This kind of banter remained during dinner, but they stopped talking when the pie was served. The pie was still warm with a scoop of vanilla ice that made Dean’s mouth water. None of them talked, instead they ate in a comfortable silence, enjoying Mary’s baking skills.

When their pie was finished and Cas and Dean helped with the dishes, they got an okay from Mary to watch movies in Dean’s room. 

Cas grabbed the Star Wars boxset, knowing Dean loved those movies. They moved in almost perfect synchronization. Dean throwing back the duvet for them to climb under later, Cas putting the DVD  -A New Hope- in the DVD-player. They climbed in together, their shoulders pressing against each other as the bed was only big enough for one person.

Dean leaned his head on Cas’s shoulder, the tiredness of the day finally setting. Cas was warm and comfortable and smelled like sunshine and thunderstorms. Even if that combination sounded weird, it worked for some reason.

Castiel turned his head to smile at Dean while Dean sat a bit straighter to get closer to Cas. Their heads moved towards each other almost in a trance and Dean gave Castiel just the smallest of kisses on the lips.

Dean turned red instantly, frozen in shock when he realized what he just did. Boys shouldn’t kiss boys, boys were supposed to kiss girls; that’s what people always told him. Not even his parents, just teachers, the TV, books.

While Dean was dealing with his internal panic, Castiel shot up and jumped out of Dean’s bed. He stormed out of the door and shut it with a loud noise that made Dean flinch. Dean tried to follow him, but Cas was already out of the door when Dean made it downstairs.

The door was still open, the cold wind of the evening brushing through Dean’s clothes. I made a mistake, he thought, tears welling up in his eyes. He heard footsteps coming his way, closer and closer until he felt two warm arms wrapping around him.

Dean recognized the perfume and smell of cooking immediately and turned around to fall in his mother’s arms. He felt wetness running down his cheeks, a lump in his throat growing bigger and bigger until he was sobbing and shaking.

Mary tried her best to comfort her son, but not worked. She eventually made Dean sit on the couch, bringing him some warm chocolate milk before asking what happened.

“I kissed, Cas, mom,” Dean cried, wiping at his cheeks furiously. Mary’s eyes widened slightly before her eyebrows pulled together in concern. “I don’t think he wants to be friends with me anymore.”

“Maybe you just surprised him, Honey,” Mary said, her voice soft and soothing as she raked her hands through Dean’s hair. “Don’t worry too much about it and for what happens on Monday.”

Dean nodded and took a sip from his chocolate milk, his tongue burning from the heat. They stayed like this for a good fifteen minutes before Dean placed his mug in the dishwasher and slumped back to his room.

A New Hope was still playing on the TV. Dean quickly shut it off and buried himself underneath his duvet.

Sleep came surprisingly quick, probably from all that crying. Nightmares haunting Dean the entire night, visions of Castiel abandoning him, laughing at him, punching him for what he did. He woke up with dried tears and a scream so loud both Mary and John came running from their room.

Mary had told John about what happened and John –being the good dad that he is- only felt bad for what happened afterward. He didn’t mind the kiss, just the pain that came with it.

Thoughts tormented him the entire weekend. Dean couldn’t focus on anything. If he played a game, he died and if he read a book, he gave up after a few minutes because he just couldn’t get into the story. The words just danced all over the pages, leaving Dean even sadder and with a beginning headache.

When Monday finally rolled around, Dean was both nervous and happy to go to school. John dropped both him and Sam off with a small smile and a soft pat on the shoulder, wishing Dean good luck today.

Butterflies erupted in his stomach as he walked closer to his classroom. Castiel wasn’t there yet, so Dean took his usual spot in the middle of the classroom. Castiel’s seat was right next to Dean’s, however, when Castiel finally arrived, he walked right past Dean, taking a seat at the end of the classroom instead.

The teacher, Miss Mills, raised an eyebrow at the unusual seating arrangement but kept quiet once she saw Dean shaking his head just a little. Dean felt tears welling up again but told himself that he should be a big boy and suck it up. He would talk to Cas after class.

However, that never happened. Cas avoided him every time Dean tried to talk to him. When Cas did speak, he told Dean to leave him alone, so Dean did.

That was the last time they talked to each other.

Now, Dean was ignored by Cas again, only, this time, they were both seventeen years old. The only thing Dean wanted was to get to his locker and go to the first period. But, of course, Mister McJerkface here had to stick his tongue down his girlfriend’s throat right in front of his locker. Even Meg -the girlfriend- ignored Dean and gripped the front of Cas’s football jacket even tighter.

They finally said their goodbye’s and Dean was able to open his locker. He did so with a huge sigh he was sure Cas heard. Right when Dean was about to turn around, somebody jumped on his back.

Dean was so used to it that he didn’t even respond, he just kept walking with Charlie nearly choking him as she held onto his neck.

She jumped off of him when they made it to class, telling him she had something important to discuss during lunch and took off to talk to her crush. Dorothy was a badass who shouldn’t be messed with yet Charlie could make her blush and giggle like it was nobody’s business.

Dean smiled softly at his best friend and prepared for an hour of boredom.

Dean nearly rushed to the cafeteria when the bell rang. The previous classes explained the meaning of boring perfectly and, besides that, Dean was extremely hungry. He couldn’t have breakfast because he slept through his alarm and he had been dealing with a rumbling stomach for the past few classes.

“I found something,” Charlie exclaimed once their small group of friends was gathered together outside. They were sitting underneath a tree they claimed as theirs in their freshman year. Even though they weren’t the most popular people, the students never sat underneath the tree, everyone knew it was theirs.

“What piece of merchandise is she showing us today?” Jo joked, scooting over so Charlie could sit down next to her.

“Not merchandise,” Charlie said, not bothering to roll her eyes like she normally would. She was way too excited to sass Jo back. “It’s a book.”

“What kind?” Kevin asked, suddenly more interested. He was a nerd, yes, but –like Dorothy- he shouldn’t be messed with, he might surprise you. He was way tougher than he let on, but he could enjoy learning and reading, thank you very much.

“It’s a spell book,” Charlie whispered excitedly, her green eyes twinkling. “And I want to try one.”

“That’s crazy, sister,” Benny grumbled, his eyebrows raised at the thought of messing with the supernatural. “This could go wrong.”

“It’s not dark magic!” Charlie exclaimed, bummed out that nobody wants to try it. “Most of the spells aren’t even that complicated.”

Slowly everyone started caving in. Maybe they were all a bit curious or they just wanted something more excited than school in their lives. Eventually, they all nodded and gave in.

Charlie cheered, making everyone laugh at her childlike excitement. “My house, eight o’clock. I won’t take no for an answer.”

And that’s how they ended up in Charlie’s kitchen, the books in the middle of the dinner table. She was home alone, thank God, and was fully prepared. The book was opened on a page somewhere near the end, chosen by Charlie before she went to school she later explained. The pages were old and yellow, the letters a bit faded.

“The spell is used to draw in your heart’s desire,” Charlie announced once they were all standing in a circle around the table.

“And what do we need to do?” Benny asked warily. He still didn’t trust any of this, where did Charlie even find this book? It could be bad magic for all they knew.

“Okay, so you need to sit in front of a dying fire when you do the spell,” Charlie explained, leaning over the table to read the book more closely. With some sighing and some groaning, they all moved the stuff of the table and in front of the fireplace.

Jo lit the fireplace in record time and they all sat down, watching the flames dance. The glow of the fire was a nice contrast to the cold winter weather outside.

“What do we do next?” Kevin asked, trying to read the book over Charlie’s shoulder.

“Eager are we?” Charlie winked. “One of us needs to sit in front of the fire, clear their head of all thoughts and throw laurel leaves into the fire and do this three times while chanting.”

“So, who is going to do this?” Dean asked, his gaze too fixated on the fire to notice Charlie’s smirk.

“Well, I was thinking…” Charlie said, tapping a finger against the side of her lip. “You maybe?”

“Me?” Dean asked in shock. “No way!”

“Oh come on, Dean, when was the last time you got some?” Charlie asked with an exasperated sigh, moving until she was sitting in front of Dean.

“I never got some,” Dean mumbled in reply, averting his eyes from Charlie who look triumphant with his answer.

“My point exactly.”

“What about you and Dorothy?” Dean shot back, clearly proud of himself. But he should never underestimate Charlie’s witty responses.

“I don’t need a spell to draw her in,” Charlie smirked, wiggling her eyebrows, making the others laugh –even Dean- and successfully lightening the mood.

“You don’t have to do this, brother,” Benny said, patting Dean’s shoulder in a friendly way.

“I know, but whatever right.”

Charlie cheered while the other’s looked a bit uncomfortable, suddenly realizing that they were seriously going to mess with magic. They had watched enough movies to know that this could end badly and yet here they were with a spell book they didn’t know if they could trust.

“Clear your head and take the laurel leaves from the bowl with your left hand,” Charlie told him, handing him the bowl with the leaves. Dean took it with shake hands and placed it on his left. “Then you chant this.”

A piece of paper was pushed into his hand. A blank paper with two lines of text on it:

"Laurel leaves that burn in the fire,

Draw unto me my heart's desire."

“The book is kinda heavy so I copied it for you.” Dean nodded, trying to remember the lines. This way he wouldn’t have to look at the paper and risk it catching fire or something.

Dean tried to clear his mind, get rid of all his thoughts that normally roamed around 24/7. It was tough, but after a while he felt himself relax, getting lost in an eerie silence combined with the crackling of the flames.

“Laurel leaves that burn the fire,” Dean chanted after throwing a handful of leaves into the flames, “Draw unto me my heart’s desire.”

After repeating this three times, Dean expected something to happen. Instead, the flames slowly but surely died down, leaving them in a cold and dark room.

“Well, that sure was exciting,” Jo laughed, clasping her hands together. “Can we now watch a movie or something?”

They all agreed including Charlie, even though she was disappointed there was not a big spectacle around the spell. She watched so many movies and TV shows and she read so many books that her longing for a bit of fantasy in her life was understandable.

Dean pulled her into a side-hug and opted for the Lord of the Rings when they were deciding which movie they would watch, just to make Charlie smile.

The spell was almost forgotten by everyone in the morning. The book was probably a fake and it didn’t work, so why think about it right?

That all changed when they arrived at school.

Dean felt a strong arm wrapping around his waist and turning him over so he was met with a broad chest. Dean glanced up only to find a pair of sparkling blue eyes looking back at him.

“Cas?” Dean inwardly cursed himself for using the nickname. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to hug you,” Castiel stated, his voice not even wavering in the slightest. He announced it as if he was telling Dean that grass was green. “How could it be so simple for him after everything we’ve been through?” Dean thought.

“Why?”

“Because I want you.”

And in that moment, they all realized that they messed up very badly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AAAAH it has been such a long time since I updated. But -in my defence- I had exams and I prioritised school, sorry!

“No, you don’t!” Dean nearly yelled, taking a few steps back. Dean knew he shouldn’t have done the stupid spell. Nobody should mess with magic, it’s too dangerous.

“I know I do, Dean,” Castiel said, his voice husky and his blue eyes shining as if he’s caught up in some weird daze. “And I know you want me too.”

“Step back,” Benny’s booming voice came, pushing Castiel backward enough to shake him up but not to make him fall. “You okay, Dean?”

“I’m fine, Benny,” Dean nodded, watching Castiel carefully. All the times he dreamed about Cas feeling something for him and now that he had it… But this wasn’t Cas, these feelings weren’t his own. “It’s not his fault.”

“Aw, Dean,” Castiel cooed, suddenly a lot closer than before. He seemly forgot about Benny who still stood tall beside Dean. “You’re protecting me.”

“Don’t get used to it,” Dean mumbled, shrugging Cas’ hand off who found its way towards the short hair near the back of his neck. They had to find a way to bring Cas back, the normal one. Dean didn’t know how long he was going to keep this up. Two minutes in and he was already about to lose control.

Dean respects consent, so he would push Cas off, but his heart was already straining. It was years ago when their friendship fell apart when Dean’s crush on Cas left him with tears in his eyes and a hole in his heart.

He couldn’t go through this again, not if he wanted to keep his sanity. He just had to avoid Cas the rest of the day, go back to Charlie’s and find a spell to turn him back. Simple!

At least, that was what Dean thought and it proved him wrong only four minutes after. It happened at his locker. Dean was just trying to get his books and go to class when two hands found his waist. A warm body pressed against his back, making the hairs on his body stand up. It wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling, he knew it was Cas from the hands, the smell, but Cas didn’t want this. Dean basically forced him and Dean wasn’t comfortable with that.

“Dean, you left so early,” Castiel whispered. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“About?” Dean asked, turning around to face Cas. He tried to keep a poker face, to make sure Cas didn’t see the effect he had on Dean.

“Us,” Castiel winked suggestively, his eyebrows raising as he waited for a response.

“There is no us, Cas,” Dean responded, his heart breaking just a little bit more as Castiel’s face fell. “I’m sorry, but-”

“No, never mind.” With that, Castiel walked away, leaving Dean in the deserted hallway.

Dean dreaded the classes to come, the time he was forced to spend with Cas. Not only did he feel guilty for constantly brushing Cas off -he of all people knew how it felt to be rejected by the person you have feelings for- he also had to say “no” when he wanted so desperately to say “yes”. But it isn’t real and he shouldn’t forget about that.

“Dean, you’re late!” Mr. Turner shouted once he made his way to his first class. “Take your seat and don’t disrupt me again.”

Dean nodded and took his seat next to the window looking out over the grass fields stretching across the school yard.

“Thought you wouldn’t show up.” A voice said behind him, instantly recognizing it as Cas’. “Couldn’t go that long without me.”

Dean sighed and chose to ignore him, clenching his fist underneath the table. He felt Cas’ eyes on him and it took everything in his power to not turn around and pull the guy closer.

“You hate me, don’t you?” Cas almost whimpered, his voice heartbroken. Dean turned around swiftly only to meet Cas’ ocean blue eyes nearly drowning in unshed tears. “I messed everything up.”

“No, Cas, wait,” Dean said quickly, his voice panicked. He laid a hand on Cas’ shoulder, hoping to comfort him the best way he could without Mr. Turner noticing. “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?” Castiel asked, his eyes bright and his voice hopeful as if he just heard he won the lottery.

“No, Cas, I don’t.”

“Then why won’t you go out with me?” Dean didn’t know what to say. Should he tell Cas, even though he wouldn’t believe Dean anyway? Even though Cas was going to deny everything and instead flirt with him like there’s no tomorrow.

“Let’s just start by being friends again, okay?” Dean said, patting Cas’ shoulder before taking his hand back. “We’ll go from there.”

“Better than a total rejection,” Cas sighed happily, giving Dean a toothy grin he hadn’t seen in years.

“Way better,” Dean said, smiling back before he knew it. Shit, was he flirting back? They need to find a way to bring Cas back. He wasn’t going to last.

Dean kept his distance until lunch, where Cas just put his plate on their table and refused to leave.

Meg came along not long after, wrapping her arms around Cas’ neck and pressing a kiss on his lips. Castiel quickly pushed her off of him and ignored the hurt look.

“Clarence? What are you doing?”

“I like Dean,” Castiel bluntly said, making heads turn around at the surrounding tables.

“Yeah, what’s new,” Meg said, rolling her eyes. “That’s why we have this whole relationship right?”

“It’s not real, it never was.”

“I suppose not,” Meg responded, walking away. She didn’t seem hurt, which made it all a bit better. Though Dean couldn’t help but feel guilty, yet again.

After Meg left, the peace was restored at their table and for some reason Cas actually fitted well in the group, he could easily talk to anyone –actually anyone but Benny, they still didn’t hit it off- about anything.

“Hey, Chief, we’re going to Charlie’s tonight right?” Benny asked, his voice a mere whisper so Cas didn’t hear. “To reverse the spell, I mean.”

“I hope so,” Dean whispered back, not noticing Cas was coming closer and closer.

“What are you whispering about?” Castiel asked, suddenly standing between Dean and Benny in an almost possessive manner.

“That’s none of your business.”

“Benny!”

“Of course it is my business! Dean is-”

“Yours?” Benny snapped, effectively cutting Cas off. “You left him in primary school, trust me Dean’s told me all about it.”

“And I regret it,” Cas said, suddenly sounding small. Cas rubbed his neck and shot Dean an apologetic look. “I really do, Dean.”

“I don’t believe you,” Dean said, his chest wrenching. The tears were building up in his eyes and he couldn’t breathe. He needed to get out of here, quick!

“What can I do to make you believe?” Castiel pleaded and Dean

“Tell me again tomorrow.” Dean left without looking back, Charlie following him instantly.

Dean walked and walked until he was outside, leaning against the brick wall next to the entrance. The wall was cold and slightly wet, but it was refreshing. Dean could breathe again. “I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t know, Charles,” Dean said, pulling Charlie into a hug. “We just have to turn it back and then after is back to normal.”

“I saw the way you look at Cas, you know?” Charlie said slowly, almost carefully. “You look at him like the stars are in his eyes.” Dean stayed quiet, but Charlie continued, “And he looks at you like you’re the sun.”

“That’s just because-”

“He looked at you like that before we did the spell. You know what the most painful is to see?” Dean shook his head. “You both think the other is looking at the ground.”

“That was almost poetic, Charlie,” Dean laughed even though he knew there was a certain truth in her words, at least for him.

“Do me a favor and ask him out after the spell is lifted, okay?”

“Okay, fine.”

“Pinky swear?”

“Charlie, are you seri-, you know what, fine,” Dean sighed but smiled nonetheless, “Pinky swear.”

****

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN “THERE IS NO WAY TO LIFT THE SPELL?”” Dean screamed, pacing and pacing.

Dean, maybe you should calm down?” Kevin tried, his eyes widening when Dean yelled again.

“CALM DOWN?”

Jo walked up, Dean too wrapped up in his own mind to notice. Suddenly Jo slapped Dean in his face, hard.

“Ow, what the hell, Jo?”

“You needed to calm down,” Jo smirked while Dean angrily rubbed the sore spot on his cheek. “Besides, I think I know someone who can help us.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE STORY, BUT I AM GOING TO WRITE A BONUS CHAPTER FROM CASTIEL'S POINT OF VIEW.   
> Enjoy!

“Like the state Missouri?” Dean asked warily, looking up to the small herbs shop he normally walked passed without giving it much attention.

“Trust me, if someone can help us, it’s her,” Jo said, pushing the doors open to reveal a strange smelling shop. The shop was filled with various amounts of herbs, creepy voodoo dolls and old books. There was a woman behind the register with way too normal clothes Dean imagined the shop owner would wear.

“Are you judging my clothes, boy?” the woman said, her eyebrows high. She had this kind of no-bullshit-face which scared Dean more than he thought. Also, how did she know? “I read minds.”

Dean’s eyes widened, his jaw falling slack. Is some kind of prank? How did Jo know this woman?

“Through her mom,” Missouri explained, her eyes a bit softer now as if she was talking about an old friend. “I do like coming to the Roadhouse.”

“Can you help us?” Jo asked, who had silently watched the interaction between them. Dean expected her to say something sooner, she was never one with a lot of patience.

“Yes, I can help you,” Missouri said, her eyes snapping to Jo. “Though I do need a few ingredients.”

“Such as?” Dean asked, the panic inside of him rising. He couldn’t deal with Castiel anymore, it was all too much. They need to cure him and soon, otherwise he would lose his damn mind.

“One white candle, a piece of white silk and a white ribbon.”

“That’s easy. We’ll find that in no time!” Dean exclaimed, a sudden burst of happiness exploding in his stomach. Maybe it’ll all be alright after all.

“The ingredients are the easy part,” Missouri said, a deep sigh escaping from her lips. “It needs to be done during the waning moon.”

“When’s that?”

“In a week.”

“A WEEK?” Dean yelled, his eyes swiftly moving from Missouri to Jo and back. How was he supposed to do this? He couldn’t skip school for a week, but then again, he also couldn’t face Cas for a week.

“Don’t yell at me! Besides, it was you who did the spell,” Missouri berated, pointing one finger at Dean. “It’s very dangerous to mess with spells, everybody in their right minds should know that.”

“We didn’t think it would be real,” Dean said, his head hanging as if he was a small child. He knew he shouldn’t have done the spell. He knew he shouldn’t do it from the moment Charlie pulled out that stupid spellbook. He should’ve walked away, gone home and forget all about it. But curiosity won and maybe, just maybe, he did it because he wanted this.

Dean thought his crush on Cas –if you could still call it a crush- would lessen and lessen until there was nothing left. He was wrong.

If anything it grew until it was suffocating him. Dean desperately wanted this kind of attention from Cas, but just not like this. Not when Cas didn’t know what he was doing, not if had to be forced.

Dean certainly learned his lesson.

Missouri looked at him approvingly and send both him and Jo outside. The two of them walked back to Dean’s car.

“I’m sorry you have to wait another week,” Jo said, patting Dean lightly on his shoulder. Dean shrugged and sent her a sad smile.

“I’ll be okay.”

The next week was very eventful, to say the least. While Dean was running everywhere he hoped Cas wasn’t, Cas was trying to find him. It broke Dean’s heart to see Cas sad whenever he ran past him again without paying him any attention or spot Cas from his hiding place only to watch Cas’ lovesick smile fall when he realized Dean was nowhere to be seen.

Dean just had no choice. He would explain everything after the spell is lifted and pray that Cas wouldn’t be mad. There was a big chance Cas would never want to see him again, which is worse than the barely there contact they had before the spell.

Dean could only hope for friendship let alone a relationship. He wasn’t going to take it that far, Cas would never like him back anyway so there was no point in hoping. But just friends was already a big enough privilege. Dean would take anything he could get.

“Cas?”

It was the day of the waning moon and Dean was beyond tired. The past few days really took a toll on his energy. And now he had to deal with the lovesick Cas for a few hours until the spell was lifted. They had to make sure the undo spell worked.

“Dean!” Castiel exclaimed, throwing his arms around Dean’s neck. Not taking in Castiel’s smell must have been one of the hardest things Dean ever had to do. Castiel was warm and muscular yet soft and Dean had no idea how that worked but it did. Dean instantly fell safe in his arms and gave himself a few seconds of this amazing feeling before he untangled himself.

“Do you want to hang out?”

“Of course,” Castiel said, searching for Dean’s hand with his own. Dean quickly pulled away and ignored the pain in Castiel’s eyes. “I haven’t seen you all week.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Dean averted his eyes, just so he couldn’t give into Castiel’s kicked puppy eyes. Dean clenched his fist until his knuckles turned white. Just a few more hours. You can do this!

“Are we leaving right now?” Castiel asked, his voice much timider. Dean looked up and lightly touched Cas’ shoulder.

“No, I have something to do before, but I’ll pick you up at 11 okay?”

“Sure, Dean,” Castiel smiled, staring at him with a huge amount of love in his eyes until Dean walked off, his cheeks burning from the attention.

You would think he would be used to it by now, but somehow, with Cas, it still felt like the first time he gave him that kind of attention way back when they were kids.

Dean drove back to his home after school, catching up on homework, playing video games with Sam. Around a quarter to eleven Dean drove the Impala to Cas’ house who was already waiting for him on the porch.

“Get in! You’ll catch a cold,” Dean shouted, opening the door for Cas. “Idiot,” he mumbled after.

“You always care so much, Dean. You have a big heart,” Castiel said dreamily, leaning his head on Dean’s shoulder. Dean didn’t have the hard to push him off, not after he rejected him so many times after since he got the spell. Dean purposely forgot about the time Cas rejected him and broke his heart.

The arrived at Missouri’s shop a half hour later, just in time to start the spell. All of his friends and Missouri were already inside, waiting for them with the ingredients. They were lucky Missouri already had everything in her store, so they didn’t need to worry about buying the stuff themselves. Apparently there were more idiots who did love spells.

“That boy is far gone,” Missouri noted, reading Castiel’s thoughts easily. Dean just nodded and took a place at the table, Castiel right next to him.

“Dean, you need to write the name of both you and Cas on the candle,” Charlie said, handing him a marker. Kevin, Benny, and Jo eyed him as he carefully wrote his name while Charlie and Missouri were looking into the next step.

“Do you think this will work?” Kevin asked, his eyes slightly widened. Dean felt sorry for dragging his friends in his own problems, but he couldn’t do this without them.

“I trust Missouri,” Dean said, hopefully reassuring Kevin. “What do we do now?” Dean asked turning back to Charlie.

“Light the candle and say “I burn this candle as the token of the spell that binds our love. Let this magic now be broken by the powers of the Gods above”, after that we wait for the candle to burn out and wrap the leftover wax in silk, tie it with the ribbon and throw it in the Kansas river, that’s the closest river nearby.”

“Let’s do it,” Dean said, before lighting the candle and repeating the same words Charlie said. There was no big explosion or any sign that it worked at all. So they all sat back and watched the candle burn.

As the candle burned longer, Castiel grew more tired. By the time the candle was halfway gone, Castiel almost fell asleep. Dean picked him up, grunting a bit at the weight of the sleepy boy and put him in a big chair to sleep.

“The candle is burned out,” Benny said, snapping Dean out of his thoughts. Dean tore his eyes away from Cas and walked back to the table. There he wrapped the wax in silk like he was told and tied it with the white ribbon.

Kevin and Jo stayed behind, while Dean, Missouri, Charlie and Benny got into Dean’s car and drove to the river where Dean threw the package into the water.

Dean speeded back to Missouri’s shop, only to find Cas gone. “Where is he?!”

“He left, Dean, I’m sorry,” Jo said, pulling Dean into a hug. “We couldn’t stop him.”

“I’ll just talk to him tomorrow,” Dean said, pretending not to care when all he wanted to do is punch his pillow over and over again from frustration.

That night, Dean couldn’t sleep at all. Nightmares of Castiel rejecting him in various ways haunted him all night. That’s why he woke up with a massive headache and dark circles under his eyes.

Dean almost fell asleep while driving to school but managed to arrive there safely. He just wanted to survive his day, forget about Cas and go back to sleep. However, for some reason, life was going to make this day hard on him.

Cas was standing in front of his locker, the look of pure adoration and lovesickness vanished from his eyes. Dean gulped but moved forward until he was eye to eye with Cas.

“Meet me at our spot during lunch.” And with that Cas was gone, his red letterman jacket disappearing from Dean’s view.

The next periods were nerve wrecking. Dean couldn’t stop his leg from shaking and his eyes turning back to the clock on the wall every second. The bell rung, telling him the period has ended and it was time for lunch.

Dean walked slowly, dreading the conversation that was about to come. Their spot was the large tree in the woods, a ten-minute walk from school. They carved their names in that tree, not with a heart around it, but to mark that tree as theirs. They used to meet up there all the time, from playing around it to mostly talking as they grew older.

Castiel was already there when Dean arrived, his arms crossed in front of his chest. “Care to explain?”

“I, uh,” Dean stuttered, his palms sweating and his hands shaking. “It was a spell?”

“I know, I remember,” Castiel said, stepping forward until he reached Dean. “Why did you put a love spell on me?”

“I didn’t know it was going to be you,” Dean quickly said. Castiel’s eyebrows rose a look of disbelief grazing his features. “It was supposed to draw in my “heart’s desire” and I didn’t know.”

“I’m your heart’s desire?” Castiel asked. Dean shrugged, not knowing what to tell him. “After everything I did to you?”

Dean stayed silent and so did Cas, both remembering that one evening that changed their entire friendship.

“I still regret running away after that kiss,” Castiel said, making Dean’s eyes shoot up. “I was just scared of other people’s judgment and after I got over that, I figured you wouldn’t want me anymore.”

“You’re such a moron,” Dean said, the urge of face-palming himself growing bigger. “I’m a moron too.”

“We can be morons together?”

“Why did you ran after the spell was lifted?” Dean asked, ignoring the previous comment. HE wasn’t going to fall for this and get his heart broken, again.

“I was scared of your reaction, I remembered how you avoided me,” Castiel explained, focusing his gaze on the grass underneath his feet.

Dean stepped closer and lifted Cas’ chin with one hand, forcing Cas to look at him. “Because you weren’t yourself and I didn’t have your consent. Trust me it was hard to stay away from you.”

Castiel hesitantly leaned forward, watching Dean’s every move. Dean grinned and leaned in closer as well. They pecked each other’s lips one time before moving back again, searching each other’s eyes. Suddenly, all hell broke loose. They couldn’t hold it anymore. Their lips met again in a fury of passion, their lips quickly moving.

Dean possessively curled his arm around Castiel’s waist and pulled him impossibly closer, one hand in Castiel’s unruly raven hair, while Castiel’s hand were on Dean’s cheeks.

They broke apart, panting into each other’s mouths while resting their foreheads together.

“Maybe we should start over,” Castiel said, his voice breathless.

“Maybe we should.”


	4. Bonus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's really long, sorry for that. I may have gone a bit overboard. 
> 
> This is the bonus chapter where the story is retold from Castiel's point of view.
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos! They really made this experience so much better <3

Friday’s were the best days in Cas’ opinion. After school, hanging out with Dean until the next morning were his favorite parts of the week. They never missed a Friday, which is pretty impressive as they have been doing this for about four years.

This Friday, they were going to Dean’s house.

Castiel always felt more at home at Dean’s house than his own. Dean had lovely parents who were more open-minded than his parents could ever be.

They have told Cas on multiple occasions that he shouldn’t hang out with Dean so much because he’s a bad influence. Even though Cas didn’t understand how Dean of all people could be a bad influence, he guessed it was about his crush on him.

His parents figured it out by the “Castiel Winchester” Cas had doodled on some pieces of paper he had thrown in the trash. Cas thought that his parents wouldn’t find out if he threw it away, however, the snooping of his extremely strict parents let to them finding it out and a particularly awkward conversation.

They warned him that he shouldn’t feel this way, that it was wrong and just a phase. Cas knew better than that. He knew he had a crush on Dean, even if he didn’t feel the same way. With all the talking Dean did to the girls in their grade, even though they are only ten which means way too young to be thinking about relationships, Castiel figured Dean didn’t like boys.

However, being Dean’s friend? That was already more than Cas could wish for.

“Boys, dinner’s ready!” Mary called, taking the chicken out of the oven. “Help me set the table?”

Dean sprung up and held out his hand for Cas to take, always ready to help everybody out, even if it puts other’s desires and needs above his own.

Castiel placed his hand in Dean’s, ignoring the tingles that were streaming up his arm and the butterflies that went crazy in his stomach. Instead, he followed Dean to the kitchen and helped Mary putting the plates on the dining table while Dean managed the cutlery.

After Mary had send Dean upstairs to get his brother, she ran her fingers through Cas’ hair, smiling softly. “How’s everything at school?”

“Good, Mary!” Castiel answered with barely contained excitement. “I got an A in class for my science project today.”

“Good job, honey,” Mary said sweetly, “I am very proud of you!”

Cas beamed back, a warm feeling settling in his chest. Mary treated him like he was one of her own, which helped mend the hole in his heart from the disapproval of his own parents.

If Cas told them he got an A, they would ask why he didn’t get an A+. It was too much stress already and he wasn’t even in high school yet.

Soon enough Dean came walking downstairs, Sam curled up against Dean’s chest with a deep kind of trust Castiel found utterly endearing. Sam knew Dean wasn’t going to let him fall.

Dean placed Sam on the kitchen floor near to his mother and took a seat next to him. Castiel felt silly for the silent cheering he did inside his mind, Dean almost always sat down next to him but to Cas, it felt like another achievement.

The moment Mary announced that they could start dinner –she actually didn’t even finish her sentence- Dean dug in, shoving large amounts of food in his mouth.

Not Castiel nor Mary could contain their laughter as Dean’s cheeks filled up more and more.

“Why is he doing that?” little Sam asked, his head tilted to the side as he watched Dean with a curious expression. This only made Mary and Cas laugh harder until he could feel a stomach ache coming up.

“Because he’s weird,” Cas answered once he finally cooled down. Dean gulped down his food, a small smile tugging at his lips. It wasn’t much but it made Cas freeze over staring in those mesmerizing, twinkling green eyes.

Castiel wanted to jump in joy, he made Dean smile!

The remaining dinner time was spend in an energetic and cheerful mood, even more so when the pie was served.

Dean was eyeing the pie as if it was the best thing he had seen in his whole life. Castiel couldn’t help but smile fondly as they ate in silence.

Mary’s baking skills were truly remarkable. If she would publish a cookbook, it would be sold out in no-time that Cas knew for sure. However, Mary always remained humble and told him that the reason the food taste good is because she made it with love. Castiel didn’t doubt that for a second.

After dessert, came the movies. Castiel picked the original Star Wars box set, knowing how Dean’s eyes lit up every time he did. That boy truly loved those movies and Cas wasn’t going to deny him that even though they have seen “A New Hope” countless times.

Castiel put the DVD in the DVD-Player and sat down next to Dean, pulling the duvet over the both of them. The bed was small as it was meant for one person only. Not that he cared. Being pressed up against Dean’s side wasn’t a bad way to spend the night.

Suddenly Cas felt a heavy weight on his shoulder, indicating that Dean had rested his head there. Cas tried not to move, hoping that Dean would stay like this; curled up against him.

Castiel couldn’t help himself; he had to know what Dean looked like, leaning on his shoulder. He looked over and smiled, lightly stiffening when Dean fixed his gaze on him instead of the movie.

Dean leaned forward, making Castiel lean forward as well, the tension building. Butterflies went into overdrive, his hands were shaking and suddenly it felt as if he couldn’t breathe.

This is wrong, Castiel kept telling himself, but couldn’t look away. Then, Dean gave him a small peck on his lips that left them tingling. Castiel wanted more, he wanted to have one more kiss, but his parent’s voices scolded him already inside his head.

If his parents found out, they would be so mad. He couldn’t do this, he had to go.

Cas shot up and ran, smacking the bedroom door behind him. He ran down the stairs past Mary and didn’t stop until he was outside. There he took a long breath and ran again, this time, his vision blurry and with tears streaming down his face.

He just lost his best friend.

When Cas got home, his mother was in the kitchen, her eyebrows raised. She didn’t expect him home, he was supposed to sleep over like every Friday.

She didn’t ask why he cried, only told him to wash his face because he “looks like a mess”. Castiel decided to take a shower, but even the warm water on his back didn’t relax him or took his mind of everything that happened.

That night, Castiel couldn’t sleep. He kept twisting and turning. His eyes hurt from crying and he felt nauseous. Not because of the kiss, but because of what happened afterward.

He really liked Dean, but his parents would never approve and Cas was scared. Scared what people would think. People at school, his neighbors, other kids. He couldn’t do this, not to himself and not to Dean. The fear of other people’s judgment –especially his parent’s-  haunted him the entire night.

Cas woke up with a headache and a pale face, dark circles clear under his eyes. He didn’t want breakfast or lunch or dinner. He lost his appetite. He tried doing something, anything, but he ended up staring at his ceiling while lying in bed.

On Sunday, Cas made up his mind. Dean deserved better friends, so he would just ignore Dean and then Dean would make new friends. Dean could do that easily, sometimes Cas didn’t understand why Dean would still be friends with him when he could be friends with everybody in class.

Monday came and Cas dreaded school from the moment he woke up. He got ready, poked his breakfast but didn’t eat it and stepped inside his father’s car.

Castiel made sure to walk slowly to class, his feet heavier with every step. He arrived a bit late, his heart breaking when he saw Dean’s face light up. He ignored Dean while every fiber of his being screamed to talk to him, touch him. Cas kept walking and saw Dean’s face fall from the corner of his eye, taking a seat next to that one loner kid in the back.

Miss Mills looked confused at both Cas and Dean and Cas shook his head lightly at her before resting his head in his arms, wishing the unshed tears in his eyes away.

“Cas?” Dean said, closing his hand around Castiel’s arm. There was hope but sadness in his voice and Cas wanted to break down. He wanted to cry and hug Dean, knowing that everything will be okay.

But it wasn’t okay, nor will it ever be okay again.

“Leave me alone, Dean,” Castiel said, hoping that Dean didn’t notice how his voice wobbled. He pulled his arm back and walked away with long steps, leaving Dean behind him.

That was the moment when Castiel felt the small hole in his heart, grow even bigger.

Meg was flirting with him and he wasn’t stopping her. Why would he? She knew about his feelings for Dean, the ones he still had seven years later.

She knew she was a rebound for a relationship he never had. He kissed her but it wasn’t the same. Dean had given him a small kiss but it was enough to light him on fire while Meg tasted like smoke and bad decisions.

He kept going, eventually deepening the kiss, anything to draw out thoughts of Dean. The one who was standing right in front of them as of right now.

Maybe he did it to make Dean jealous, but he only looked annoyed. Cas figured he had given him enough trouble already so he said goodbye to Meg and stepped aside for Dean.

He heard Dean sigh and wanted to say something, but Charlie already jumped on Dean’s back and he took that as his cue to go.

That’s all Cas wanted, just a friendship with Dean like he had with Charlie. They had a friendship like that but Cas ruined it and now he doesn’t know how to fix it.

If  he can fix it.

School was always the most difficult for Castiel, purely because he saw Dean in almost every class. It was tough to ignore him, pretend that he wanted nothing to do with Dean while all Cas wanted was to walk over there and start a conversation.

The bell rang and Cas couldn’t get up fast enough. He practically ran to his locker and through the entrance of the school. Dean was sitting too close to him, only one row behind him. It was all too much, the desire to talk to Dean or to touch him.

Castiel took a deep breath and started his walk home, trying to get rid of every single thought about Dean.

Doing homework was how Cas spend most of his evening. Good grades were very important to him because good grades let to more chances to get into college and away from his parents.

Once Castiel couldn’t focus on the words anymore, he gave up and turned his TV on making Netflix appear on screen. He chose Daredevil and sat back, relaxing back against his pillow.

Halfway through the show, a weird tingling started in his chest. Castiel ignored it and kept watching until the tingling spread to the rest of his body. Even his fingers started to tingle so badly that it hurt.

A few minutes later, it stopped and Castiel fell asleep immediately after, dreaming about a life with Dean Winchester in it.

The next morning everything seemed normal except for the weird longing Castiel had never felt before. The only thing he could think about that morning was Dean and only Dean. He thought about Dean when  he took a shower, got dressed, brushed his teeth, had breakfast. The desire he felt for Dean the previous few years were suddenly intensified.

When he arrived at school and saw Dean, it was as if his feet had a mind of their own. As soon as Castiel got close enough, he wrapped Dean in his arms, hugging him close to his chest.

Castiel cursed himself, trying to let go, but something in him refused to do so.

“Cas?” Dean said, confused and a bit shocked. He hasn’t called me that in years. “What are you doing?”

Castiel wanted to scream that he didn’t know, cry because Dean now thought of him as a freak who randomly hugged him.

Instead, he said, “I’m trying to hug you.” As if it was the most normal thing in the whole world when he knew it wasn’t.

“Why?” Dean asked. His friends were surrounding them, all looking at Cas with a mix of shock and anger.

“Because I want you,” Castiel stated, without wanting to do so. He doesn’t know why he said it, only that it freak Dean out even more.

“No, you don’t!” Dean yelled, throwing Castiel’s arms off of him and turning around, creating a distance between them.

Castiel already missed the warmth of Dean’s body. He felt hurt even though he knew why Dean tried to get away from him.

What is happening?

“I know I do, Dean,” Castiel said, his voice suddenly husky. “And I know you want me too.”

Castiel tried to explain himself, how he wasn’t doing this, how something else said these things. He couldn’t form the words, couldn’t make himself walk away.

It was scary and embarrassing and Cas wanted a hole to swallow him and prevent him from doing something stupid again.

“Step back,” Benny said, his voice full of authority as he stepped in front of Dean and pushed Cas back. “You okay, Dean?”

Castiel felt a sudden rage come over him yet he was kind of grateful for Benny who created a wall between him and Dean. A sudden flare of jealousy spiked in his stomach, making him grit his teeth.

“I’m fine, Benny,” Dean said softly, trying to come between him and Benny. Oh, Castiel could only wish for Dean to talk to him like that, which didn’t help the jealousy one bit.

It’s not his fault,” Dean added, leaving Castiel confused. How could Dean know about this? It’s not like Cas had the opportunity to tell him.

“Aw, Dean,” Castiel cooed, cringing internally at his voice. His feet moved on its own again, stepping closer towards Dean who seemed to freeze up. His hand lifted itself, moving to the back of Dean’s neck and playing with the short blonde hairs. “You’re protecting me.”

“Don’t get used to it,” Dean mumbled back. Castiel tried to ignore the hurt pang in his heart when Dean said that, combined with him shaking Cas’ hand of while Cas knew it was logical Dean would do this.

Castiel finally managed to get control over his body, when Dean moved away and sprint to his own locker where he breathed heavily.

He had to find out what was happening and how to stop it.

However, it felt as if he lived in a daze. He could only think about Dean and nothing else. It felt as if he needed Dean, otherwise, he couldn’t breathe.

Castiel tried to stay away but found himself walking to Dean’s locker after only a few minutes. He moved closer and closer until his hands found Dean’s waist, cherishing the touch of the warm body in front of him.

“Dean, you left so early,” Castiel whispered. “I wanted to talk to you.” And Cas really wanted to talk to him. He wanted to do this for years, but not like this.

“About?” Dean asked, turning around to face Cas. His expression was stoic and almost bored. This only made Castiel try harder for a reason he didn’t know himself.

“Us,” Castiel said, winking suggestively.

“There is no us, Cas,” Dean responded, making Castiel’s face fall. Castiel was about to burst into tears, he could already feel them coming. “I’m sorry, but-”

“No, never mind.” With that, Castiel walked away, leaving Dean in the deserted hallway. He made his way to the boy’s bathroom where he found a stall and cried for a good five minutes until he cooled down. He didn’t know why he cried, he never was this emotional yet somehow everything, especially everything that had to do with Dean, seemed so much bigger than they were.

Dean rejected him a couple of times in the span of half an hour and Castiel knew he deserved it. After what he had done to Dean those many years ago.

For some reason, Cas didn’t want to give this up, leave Dean alone. He needed Dean in a weird primal urge he never felt before.

It scared him to death.

Castiel eventually made his way to the classroom of his first period. Dean wasn’t there yet and Castiel was worried and impatient. He couldn’t wait to see Dean again.

“Dean, you’re late!” Mr. Turner shouted. Castiel looked up, grinning when he noticed Dean standing in the doorway, startled by Mr. Turner’s outburst. “Take your seat and don’t disrupt me again.”

“Thought you wouldn’t show up,” Castiel said once Dean took his seat in front of him. “Couldn’t go that long without me?”

Dean sighed and ignored him, a wave of sadness nearly drowning Cas by doing so. Castiel stared at his back, hoping Dean would turn around and look at him but Dean avoided his gaze.

“You hate me, don’t you?” Cas almost whimpered, his voice heartbroken. He hated sounding so weak, but he couldn’t help it. The thought of Dean rejecting him again seemed like the biggest problem in the world.

His eyes were already pooling in unshed tears, just waiting to roll down his cheek. Dean finally turned around.

“I messed everything up,” Castiel said, his voice wobbling while he felt one tear rolling down his cheek.

“No, Cas, wait,” Dean said quickly, his voice sounding panicked. His eyes were worried which made Castiel feel a little better. He laid a hand on Cas’ shoulder, comforting him a little bit. “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?” Castiel asked, a sort of happiness exploding in his chest. It felt as if he just heard the best news possible.

His emotions were going in overdrive and it tired him out. It went from sad to happy to angry and Cas couldn’t keep up. It was so easy to give himself over to those emotions, but he tried to keep himself in check.

“No, Cas, I don’t.”

“Then why won’t you go out with me?” Castiel asked even though he and Dean hadn’t talked in a long time before this morning.

“Let’s just start by being friends again, okay?” Dean said, patting Cas’ shoulder before taking his hand back. Castiel felt hope blossoming even though his heart fell at the word “friends”. “We’ll go from there.”

“Better than a total rejection,” Cas sighed happily, beaming at Dean who looked at him in awe. If he didn’t know better he would say Dean looked like he liked him, which could never be true.

“Way better,” Dean said, smiling back at Cas.

Was Dean flirting with him? Or is this just some weird dream Cas would wake up from soon?

Dean avoided Cas for the rest of the day and Cas couldn’t handle it anymore. He had to be close to Dean or he might die.

When he spotted Dean and his friends at their usual lunch table near the window, Castiel knew he had to go there. That’s why he paid for the cafeteria food and took his plate to the table, putting it down before either of them could protest. He sat down and started to eat, ignoring the weird looks from both Dean and his friends.

Suddenly Castiel felt two bony arms wrap around his neck and a kiss pressed to his lips. “Not Dean”, he thought and pushed the person of.

“Clarence? What are you doing?” Meg said, eyeing him with a look of hurt. Cas didn’t care about Meg or anybody for that matter, just Dean.

“I like Dean,” Castiel bluntly said, making heads turn around at the surrounding tables. It felt as if he fell deeper and deeper in Dean land with no possible way of escaping.

It felt as if he was losing himself.

“Yeah, what’s new,” Meg said, rolling her eyes. “That’s why we have this whole relationship right?”

“It’s not real, it never was,” Castiel said, knowing this was the truth. Though he would have never said that to Meg out loud, in a full cafeteria with people looking at him. It was just plain rude and cruel.

“I suppose not,” Meg responded, walking away. Castiel felt guilty, wanting to go after her and apologize. Not to fix their relationship, but for breaking it off like this. She deserved better.

Castiel started a conversation with some of the people at the lunch table. Being close to Dean actually cleared his mind for some reason, as if the fog has been lifted once he’s around. Castiel was shocked at how he could laugh and talk with Dean’s friends as if he belonged to be there all along.

Everything was fine until he noticed Dean and Benny whispering to each other, their faces too close for Castiel’s comfort.

Without thinking about it, Castiel stood from his seat at the table and moved to stand in between Dean and Benny, successfully ending their conversation when he spoke up.

“What are you whispering about?” Castiel asked, his voice laced with jealousy and possessiveness. 

“That’s none of your business,” Benny sneered, turning back to Dean.

“Benny!”

“Of course, it is my business! Dean is-”

“Yours?” Benny snapped, effectively cutting Cas off. “You left him in primary school, trust me Dean’s told me all about it.”

Cas knew this, of course he did, he was there for God’s sake. He didn’t want to be reminded of his biggest mistake. He didn’t want Dean to be reminded either, this would only lead to Dean hating him more than he already did.

“And I regret it,” Cas said, suddenly feeling very small while both Benny and Dean stared him down. Cas rubbed his neck and shot Dean an –what he hoped looked like- apologetic glance. “I really do, Dean.”

“I don’t believe you,” Dean said and Castiel couldn’t breathe. The look of pure sadness in Dean’s eyes made him want to wrap the boy in his arms. However, Cas managed to refrain himself from making the situation worse by doing that.

“What can I do to make you believe?” Castiel pleaded, willing to sit on his knees on the dirty cafeteria floor if that is what it would take.

“Tell me again tomorrow,” Dean said, leaving without looking back, Charlie following him instantly.

Benny held Cas back from following Dean and Cas nodded to him, understanding why he did this. Cas grabbed his backpack and went outside, walking home. He couldn’t stay at school anymore, at least not for now.

The next week everything went from bad to worse. Cas ran around, looking for Dean everywhere. Cas needed Dean, like a starving man needed food. It was almost unbearable to stay away from Dean, so much that it actually started to hurt him physically.

Castiel grew more and more tired, lost too much sleep and still couldn’t eat three full meals. All he wanted for this to stop yet he didn’t know what to do about it. That’s why he tried to contain himself even if it kills him. He couldn’t risk freaking Dean out more than he already has.

“Cas?” Castiel heard behind him, nearly sobbing in relief when he heard Dean’s voice.

Cas turned around and threw his arms around Dean’s neck, taking in Dean’s scent. It helped him relax, the aching of his entire being simmer down.

“Dean!”

“Do you want to hang out?” Dean asked his voice pure business. Castiel was confused why he didn’t sound more… happy. Nevertheless, Cas wouldn’t say no.

“Of course,” Castiel said, searching for Dean’s hand with his own. Dean quickly pulled away, sending Castiel’s emotional roller-coaster down to sadness again.

“I haven’t seen you all week,” Castiel tried, his smile unsure and his eyes pleading even if he didn’t know what for.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Dean averted his eyes, rather staring at the locker’s behind Cas than into his eyes.

“Are we leaving right now?” Castiel asked, his voice timid. Dean looked up and lightly touched Cas’ shoulder.

“No, I have something to do before, but I’ll pick you up at 11 okay?”

“Sure, Dean,” Castiel smiled, his adoration and love for Dean growing more. Cas kept staring at Dean until he left.

It was ten o’clock and Cas couldn’t wait anymore. He had changed his outfit multiple times, wore cologne and even combed his hair.

He knew Dean wouldn’t arrive until eleven, but he went to sit on the porch anyway, waiting until Dean would arrive. And he did, forty-five minutes later.

“Get in! You’ll catch a cold,” Dean shouted, opening the door for Cas from inside.

“You always care so much, Dean. You have a big heart,” Castiel said dreamily, leaning his head on Dean’s shoulder. Dean didn’t push him off and Cas was glad he didn’t. He couldn’t go through another emotional break down again. Those past fifty were enough.

They arrived at a weird looking shop about half an hour later. Castiel wondered why Dean would bring him here but refrained himself from asking questions. He didn’t want to risk Dean being mad at him.

“That boy is far gone,” the woman said, staring at Cas pointedly. Dean just nodded while Cas was still utterly confused. Who is she and how did she know?

“Dean, you need to write the name of both you and Cas on the candle,” Charlie said, handing Dean a marker. Castiel wondered if he ended up in some b-rated horror movie. However, he trusted Dean and somehow knew that he was safe with him. 

“Do you think this will work?” Kevin asked, his eyes wide. Cas wanted to ask what will work but he didn’t get the chance.

“I trust Missouri,” Dean said. So that’s what the woman is called.

“What do we do now?” Dean asked, turning back to Charlie and still ignoring Castiel’s questioning eyes.

“Light the candle and say “I burn this candle as the token of the spell that binds our love. Let this magic now be broken by the powers of the Gods above”, after that we wait for the candle to burn out and wrap the leftover wax in silk, tie it with the ribbon and throw it in the Kansas river, that’s the closest river nearby.”

Magic? A spell? That’s what’s going on here? It explained a lot; why he would do things out of nowhere without planning on doing it, the weird obsessions with Dean, everything that happened the past week.

“Let’s do it,” Dean said, before lighting the candle and repeating the same words Charlie said. There was no big explosion or any sign that it worked at all and Cas didn’t feel any different. So they all sat back and watched the candle burn.

As the candle burned longer, Castiel grew more tired. By the time the candle was halfway gone, Castiel almost fell asleep. He felt someone lift him up and by the time he was moved and put down somewhere else, he had let darkness take him away.

When he woke up again, everybody was gone except for Kevin and Jo who stared at him with a curious expression.

“Where’s Dean?” Cas asked, inspecting the entire shop. All he saw was voodoo dolls, some herbs, and weird accessories.

“He left,” Jo said. It looked like she wanted to say something else but Castiel already stood from the chair he was lying in and walked out of the shop, furious with himself and Dean.

He could hear a faint “wait” but he was already outside, on his way home.

Now that he could think clear, he let all of the past events come back to him and remembered every cringe-worthy thing he had said or done clearly.

He was embarrassed and mad –more at himself than at Dean- and figured he couldn’t go back to school the next morning. Now that he was back to normal and not under some weird love spell, he would never be able to look Dean in the eye again.

Of course, his parents wouldn’t let him stay home the next day. Castiel thought about it the previous night when he couldn’t sleep and figured he had to face Dean some time. Rather it is where they could talk it out and figure what they would do next. Even though Cas already knew Dean wanted nothing to do with him, especially not after the past week.

Cas made his way to Dean’s locker, waiting until the green-eyed boy arrived. When he did, Dean’s movements were shy and nervous, his hands twisting in his shirt, though Cas didn’t think Dean knew that he was doing it.

“Meet me at our spot during lunch,” Castiel said and walked away. He couldn’t look at Dean much longer, all that he saw were the times he made a move on Dean the past week, basically coming on to him without Dean wanting it.

Castiel didn’t know how he made it through the next few periods but somehow he did. He skipped the class before lunch and slowly walked towards their spot.

It was a large tree in the woods nearby their school. Castiel smiled involuntarily at the memories they had because of that tree.

He let his fingers trace along their names that were carved in the trunk of the tree. It was barely readable as carving isn’t the easiest thing and they were still young, but Cas knew what they said and that was enough.

Dean carved it into the tree the day he got his dad’s pocketknife as a present for good grades. It was a sunny day and they had played with wooden sticks around the tree until it was too hot and they were too tired to continue.

“We should make this our spot,” young Dean had said, revealing the pocket knife.

“It’s already ours,” young Castiel had said, his voice laced with confusion as to why they needed to mark the tree and why Dean needed the pocket knife.

“We know that,” Dean explained with the patience of a saint. “But I want other people to know that too.”

Dean had unclipped the knife and carved their names in the tree. It was sluggish and the “t” in Castiel was really deformed, but it was theirs and Cas loved it.

Castiel snapped back from the memory when he saw that Dean was coming his way. Castiel crossed his arms and tried to keep a poker face, not showing that he was actually as scared and nervous as Dean looked. “Care to explain?”

“I, uh,” Dean stuttered and Cas instantly felt bad. Though he reminded himself that he was still mad at Dean. “It was a spell?”

“I know, I remember,” Castiel said, stepping forward until he reached Dean. “Why did you put a love spell on me?”

“I didn’t know it was going to be you,” Dean quickly said and Castiel wanted to snort. How can you put a love spell on someone without knowing it was going to hit them? He didn’t believe Dean one bit.

“It was supposed to draw in my “heart’s desire” and I didn’t know,” Dean explained, making Cas feel sheepish. He shouldn’t have doubted Dean and he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up for Dean wanting to put a spell on him. Though he is Dean’s heart’s desire, so that counted for something.

Right?

“I’m your heart’s desire?” Castiel asked. Dean shrugged while his feet poked the grass beneath them. “After everything, I did to you?”

Dean stayed silent and so did Cas, both remembering that one evening that changed their entire friendship.

“I still regret running away after that kiss,” Castiel said, watching as Dean’s eyes shot up. “I was just scared of other people’s judgment and after I got over that, I figured you wouldn’t want me anymore.”

“You’re such a moron,” Dean said, his expression something between wanting to kiss Cas or slap him. Cas figured it would be both. “I’m a moron too.”

“We can be morons together?” Castiel said jokingly, trying to make the conversation light. Dean ignored him.

“Why did you ran after the spell was lifted?”

“I was scared of your reaction, I remembered how you avoided me,” Castiel explained, focusing his gaze on the grass underneath his feet.

Dean stepped closer and lifted Cas’ chin with one hand, forcing Cas to look at him. “Because you weren’t yourself and I didn’t have your consent. Trust me it was hard to stay away from you.”

Castiel hesitantly leaned forward, watching Dean’s every move. Dean grinned and leaned in closer as well. They pecked each other’s lips one time before moving back again, searching each other’s eyes. Suddenly, all hell broke loose. They couldn’t hold it anymore. Their lips met again in a fury of passion, their lips quickly moving.

Dean possessively curled his arm around Castiel’s waist and pulled him impossibly closer, one hand in Castiel’s unruly raven hair, while Castiel’s hand found Dean’s cheeks.

They broke apart, panting into each other’s mouths while resting their foreheads together.

“Maybe we should start over,” Castiel said, his voice breathless.

“Maybe we should.”


End file.
